Are you sitting comfortably?
Then let's begin......
Downtrodden for years, the back doorstep decided that it was now time to retaliate. Spotting its intended victim momentarily distracted by a broken peg basket it quivered with glee and gave an almost imperceptible but extremely effective flick.The victim fell forward, the little piggy that stayed home buckled, bent and bellowed in anguish. Ricocheting between the clothes airer and door jamb the doorstep's victim too protested loudly.On hearing notes usually beyond the victim's mellow mezzo and a vocabulary certainly beyond the pale, the doorstep settled back with the smug, self satisfied glow of a job well done. The fat lady had sung.
Should you not have understood my Pratchett like ramblings, I shall explain. I broke my toe on the back door step. And it hurt. Slightly worried about the wide ranging extremes of the words I used to alleviate the pain! I will probably have to scale the pearly gates now rather than gain direct entry.
Oops.
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