A decision not lightly made

Today I made a decision. I make them quite a lot really - decisions I mean, not chocolate puddings, although to look at me you would think I live on home made puds and sweeties. This decision is a huge one. The thought began yesterday after a thorough castigation (see earlier post), it fermented overnight and exploded during this morning's all age worship. Today's teaching from a rather wonderful lady (hi Dawn) helped stir the fermentation process and the music and singing solidified the thought process. I now have a mind like an Aero bar. Oh get out of my head chocolate, be gone! You know, lots of little empty spaces surrounded by some solid thinking. I so wish I hadn't gone down this descriptive route now, but hey ho.

The reading was about Jesus telling the disciples to try again after an exhausting and unsuccessful fishing trip. Cast their nets according to his instruction and they would be successful. Dawn talked about listening to Jesus and acting according to His way with His leadership, placing our faith firmly in Him. She used an analogy - we may have to go into deep water, uncharted territory, dark and scary in order to 'catch the best fish'.

Thinking about this; I know what my actions tomorrow are going to be and I know that fury will be unleashed upon me and waves and waves of it will pound me. After a chat with my dearest Mary and a good long prayer from her deeply spiritual heart, I feel ready for the pounding. There isn't only myself suffering, there are others and maybe I'm the strongest of us and the best equipped to make a positive change for all of us.

 I wanted to make a difference. Castigator has been difficult to love and respect, but I've done it. Drawing alongside  when necessary I have ministered and cared  to the best of my ability, and put our differences aside, hoping that as I did so, Castigator would find value in our friendship. Now, I see that even this is used as a weapon to destroy my confidence for it has been viewed as weakness. Now I see where the real attack is coming from and who the real enemy is. If you, Reader, are Christian, you will recognise this too.

I want to make a difference. And I shall.  If  breakers batter me about, I will stand in the strength of our Lord Jesus Christ and I will hold fast to His precious Name even when the deep waters of  blame shifting and recrimination threaten to overwhelm me -for it could be me who is found wanting.

Should I be overcome, should the waves knock the feet out from under me, well, I won't panic, I can only float into God's presence and He will put me back together again.

Dear God, as you continue to refine me and make me new, please could you rub out the desire for Terry's All Gold and chocolate covered stem ginger. Thank you. Amen.


Hello Canada! May God bless you and keep you in His care.