Being made of 43% fat isn't all that bad really. A forensic science programme on TV reported that body fat does not melt in acid the way that other body parts do. That means I would take an awful lot of getting rid of, should someone decide to push me into the odd acid vat in their lock up. A tremendous amount of 'skimming off' would ensure that I'd be haunting them for quite some time.
Still, if body fat is made of fat cells swollen with water, then maybe a good wringing out would sort me out, or, if I laid very still whilst covered in a thick layer of sea salt, water would be drawn out through my pores and I would slowly deflate. I'd need quite a bit of chocolate to keep me occupied throughout the process though.
There's a fridge magnet which says something like 'there's a thin person inside trying to get out'. It really is true in my case, there is. It's like this. I don't look like I'm 43% fat despite being quite a short person. Fat seems to stick to me quite well, even the doctor said so. That's because inside I am a very small person. So follow this through - if I am a small person, it takes a greater amount of fat to make me look like a large person. And inside I am a small person. Easy!
See! I knew I'd think myself thin eventually.
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